Find Reasons to be Happy :-D


So, I came across this poem a while back and have been meaning to post it for quite sometime. But haven’t gotten around to doing it mainly for 2 reasons: 1. I have been preoccupied with college work and the people in my life; 2. My net hasn’t been working which, honestly, I borrow from someone (without their knowledge) 😛 !!!

Lately, the people in my life have been going through some tough situations, and I have tried my level best to be there for them and to see them through the mess. But now I have run out of advice. I am clueless when one of them asks me to soothe them. Honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore. My reserve of sympathy and advice and my capacity to help out seems to have dried out. I don’t like it but I don’t see an option. I am trying very hard to be there, but you know how at the end of the day, how much ever you try to help out, everyone has to fight their own battles.

All I can say to them is find reasons to be happy. Don’t look at the dark side and shed silent tears. Your life is too short and your tears too precious to be spent in vain. Be happy for all those people who are still around you. Live life with them. Because when you’re drowning in your own misery, you may just not know that there are others who are fighting greater battles than you are. So stop being all sad, look around, take time out to ask people around you how they have been, laugh your ass off at the depressing joke your even more depressing friend just cracked, look at the sun set and be happy that it will come back tomorrow. Enjoy all while you still have it, lest you lose even that in your self induced misery. Love will happen again. Till then bask in the glory of the amazing friendships you have built.

And for someone else, how do you know when you’re in love? You just know. Because it’s the best thing that has happened to you in a long time. And you don’t want to say goodbye, ever.

I am leaving you with the poem. Its is called I Wish You Had Never Come Back. Not exactly that great, but at the time it was a plea for someone to not come back and take away what was so precious to me. Its been a while since then and I felt like sharing it with you folks. Hope you have a good read. Miss me till my next post :-P.

I Wish You Had Never Come Back

I wish I could have it all back.

I wish I could turn back time.

I wish you had never come back,

to take what was most precious,

away from me.

I hate you for doing that to me.

I hate you for doing that to him.

I wish you had never come back.

While you were gone,

I was the pillar of strength,

I was the shoulder to cry on,

I was the one to hold.

While you were gone.

I guess, I should have seen this coming.

I should have known all along that this would end.

I should have known that you would come back.

I should have.

And you ain’t coming back to me.

I know that for sure.

Coz now you’re gone,

away for the good.

With someone you would be happy with.

I know that for sure.

I will miss you and me.

I will miss us together.

But more than that,

I will miss you with me.

And, I wish you had never come back,

to take what was most precious,

away from me.

I hate you for doing that to me.

I hate you for doing that to him.

I wish you had never come back.


To Where It All Began


“Go back to where everything starts for you. Write from there.” One of my  friends gave me this, so I am going to start to write from here exactly. Mind  you, having you to come up with posts for a blog is a lot of pressure. Coming up with things to write is not an easy task. At least I can’t  come up  with interesting things or even simple words to write, everyday.  That has  been one of my major fears when starting a blog. I just don’t feel  creative  every day. So when one of my friends suggested this, it was a  breath of  relief.

So this is how it all began.

I can’t precisely pinpoint the time when I started writing. I guess these things just happen. A broken heart, a loss of a dear friend or a parent, a   rebellion, a revolt, a farewell – is enough to get us to write, to bare our  deepest emotions to the world. It’s an attempt to give the residual feelings  a definitive form, a way to reach out, a way to remember all that is past, a way to make a wish, a demand or even vent anger, remorse or frustration.

As far as memory serves, the first time I seriously wrote, was for another friend who was going through a bad break up. I was sitting in my English class, form 11. Our teacher was reading Julius Caesar to us and I was scribbling away on a piece of paper, obviously too distracted to listen, when words became a sentence and sentences became a stanza. It was a feeling so intense, because somehow that incident had made a mark on me too. My teacher saw me write something, came over, and leaned in to see what I was doing and when he figured I was writing a poem, he walked away with a smile saying ‘Let me read it when it is done.’ That was one hell of a supportive English teacher. He has helped edit a lot of articles and poems ever since. So that is how I got my first poem done! It required a lot of edits after that, but still that was the first time I actually started writing.

After that, throughout my high school I was a steady writer. I wrote a lot of poems, primarily. But I have always felt that I need a certain intensity in my feelings, in my reactions, to put them into words. That time, those 2 years of high school, were something of a turmoil period for me. A lot of changes, a state of constant confusion, rebellion, a reason to break free, peer pressure, relationships going wrong –almost everything that can go wrong for a teenager! I am not very proud of that stage, but it happened, and majority of what I have written till date is from that time.

After that I came to Pune and life has just gone by. I have no idea where the 2 years in Pune have disappeared. I guess they were happening when we were going for long bike rides, were having coffee at 2 in the morning sitting on the footpath outside CCD, when we were busy fighting over drinking habits, when we were too egotistical to talk to each other, when we fell in love, when we fell out of love. When we realized how life and love works, when we got wet in the rain, when we stayed up all night because we hadn’t done it in a while and because we weren’t going to see each other after that, the first beer, the first high and the first smoke – that is when life happened. But come to think of it, it’s only when the end draws near that you are forced to think of how much time has passed since the beginning and of the long way that you have come.

I seem to be deviating, so getting back to 2 years in Pune, I haven’t written much during this time, because I was busy living it 🙂 . And after a while you learn to accept feelings and emotions (I have no idea what is the difference between the two) for what they are. And outlets to vent anger, disgust, frustration or helplessness change to other more mature forms (pseudo-mature, more like it).

So I will leave you with that first poem of mine. Be easy on it. It was just the first (but maybe one of my best) !

P.S. This aforementioned friend is one of the oldest friends that I have treasured for so many years. She has been a friend since as far as I can remember. We still refer to each other as ‘my best friend since KG 1’, that is how far it goes. Shaleen Wadhwana – it’s been, what, 16 years, of having known each other and I can say without a doubt, the friendship is still as strong.

So Shaleen, this one is for you. Because you know I love you! (and also because this was your idea!) 😛

Shattered

How can someone just snap out of a relationship?

Without ever stopping to realize,

The pain that she will have to endure.

He was not a bad guy, but then,

You can’t really judge people, can you?

Everything we thought he was,

Until now,

Was proven wrong suddenly and falsified.

The agony our friend experienced,

Because of one hard-hearted guy, was unimaginable.

How easy it was for him to say ‘It’s over’ and move on,

Whereas, she stood still,

Too dumbstruck to even realize that everything she had ever lived for,

Had gone.

The world seemed bleak to her,

There was no sunshine,

No rainbows, no flowers,

No love.

Crying day and night she had lost count of the moments passed,

Her eyes puffy,

Made her stand out among the still cheerful faces around.

For whom the world had not changed,

Still filled with the hope of a bright new day,

But, for her,

The world had stopped and she was left in a vacuum of memorable moments,

Nagging at her each passing second.

We tried our best to get out of that vacuum,

But so far we have failed miserably.

As hard as we try,

We still can’t measure up with the pain she’s going through.

My belief in love was shaken so badly,

That I guess it will take years before I believe in it again.

I wished he was always yours,

I wished you both a happy life,

I wished… but our wishes seldom come true.

Your pain can’t be put into words but I’ve tried.

In the end all I want to say is, ‘We love you and will always do, no matter what’

And that ‘We’re sorry this happened and we promise to stand by you no matter what’.

Love you always,

Your friends, forever.