I sit there on the ledge of the window, leaning out, looking at the starless sky and feeling the warmth of the cold wind. The only sounds are the tic-tac of the keyboard, the crackling of the paper and the distant horn of a car driving into its destiny as I sit here wondering about life and actions.
We are logical human beings who put thought into our actions. But we too are made by some not so logical, impulsive actions that more often than not define our life. We hate to admit that to ourselves but in the secrecy of our hearts we know that is what makes us who we are. When we aren’t thinking about the consequences of our actions, when we let go and take life as it comes. Because in the end, that’s the sub- conscious we are acting upon and that roots from what we are.
When we sit back and look at the life past, we want to make sure that it’s all rosy, all right. But we have a lot of wrong stashed away in our histories, to make the past not so rosy red and fabulous. It’s the mistakes that have made us into what we are today. Without them, we would have been a mankind without experience living in the same rut and retro age of the past. But that is not meant to be. Like humankind, we too have learnt from our past but have still decided to commit those same mistakes in the name of love and friendship. “Like all wars start for profit and principle but are fought for the land and its women.”
Even in our right minds, we have made mistakes. We have committed them when the alarm in the back of the head is blaring out “It’s wrong”. So what is it that makes us take the leap from the right to the wrong, in the blink of an eye? Is it the love for the person that has kept us going, or is it the pure adrenaline rush of knowing the taboo, or is it catharsis for the already- done wrong? Are we pushing ourselves into it by choice so that we may forget the good that was, to lie, sallow and valor in the misery of our lives by taking a deeper plunge into the well of wrongs! To do ourselves some harm for have spoilt a life that was good to be true.
I guess that is how people who can’t be rescued from their misery are made. Because in order to forget their wrong decisions, they start to live them till the point that those decisions is what makes them.
So wake up! Look ahead, put thoughts into your actions again, do the right, correct the wrong, because the only one who can rescue you from the fate that you’re driving into, is yourself. Don’t throw away a good life because you don’t have the balls to face the doing of your sorry self. Man up! Make the right move, take the next right turn and get your life back in order before it’s too late and you have lost that one love that had kept you going.
PS: To Hank Moody…