From the Top of my Head

My roomie and me were sitting and chit chatting. I was giving her gyaan on love. 😛 And then she asked me the clichéd question – What is love!!! And the immediate reply from the top of my head, was Love is Serendipity. (PS. Serendipity is my favorite word. The reason shall be shared in a future post 🙂 )Serendipity is when you find something that you weren’t even looking for. It always so happens that when you give up on love and people, someone comes along to resurrect the faith.

This gave me something to write. And then one thing lead to another. And I ended up with this paragraph of incomplete and broken sentences, which somehow made sense towards the end. It may be repetitive and clichéd. But at the end, clichés become clichés because they are true and therefore oft-repeated!

So here it is, for whatever it is worth.

Love is serendipity. It happens when you ain’t looking for it. Life passes by when you’re busy making other plans. Be impulsive. Let the first pass. Wait for the second. Go with the flow. It may take you to your destination. Go back packing. Travel to an unknown land. Meet new people. Sit and discuss life experiences. Learn about them. Realize that the world is full of people living so many different lives that you’ll never have a chance to know. Sit and gaze at the sunflower. Follow its eye-lock with the sun, under the summer haze. Sit in a distant land on a sun deck and read a book. Give into love. Don’t question everything. Sometimes the answers that you get aren’t the ones you’re looking for. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. Follow your heart. Publish a book. Write a poem. Don’t over-think. The right person may be the one standing on your right throughout life, when you were busy looking ahead. Get your heart-broken. Give up on love and faith. Travel to the Norwegian countryside. Read, paint, and know what life is about. Decide to give love and people another chance. Walk through a vineyard and remember all the sour moments of life. Come back to take on life head-on. Build your life. Rebuild your career. Follow your dream. You may not get a second shot. Earn money. Live in New York. Shop in Paris and London. Fall in love. Raise your boy to be chivalrous and your girl to be modest. Grow old. Fall in love. Retire to a cottage home somewhere in the countryside of France. Die in peace, without regrets. Know that you had it all, that you lived it all. Because at the end that is what matters.


Playing by Instinct

We are often caught helpless in our actions, in relations we share with people. We are confused between the right and the wrong. What to do and what not to do? Specially with people we are very close to, we are overly cautious – like a man peering down  from the edge of a cliff, afraid to slip into the all absorbing darkness of loneliness beyond. This is because we are afraid of losing that person, or are scared of being left alone, to pick up the pieces of a shattered trust. And in this helplessness we wish we knew what was the right thing to do – we wish that life was like a movie and was scripted so that we knew what the right thing to say or do was or even that someone would tell us what to do and spare us the hurt of thinking it over.

But, as in life, we learn to play by instincts, so is it in love. “Instinct is what takes things forward”. We learn all about the relationship enigma by instinct driven play or actions. We have learnt from our past relations and may choose to or not to imply those lessons in the future.

But it so happens that, in love, we are scared even to play by that instinct in case, it may be the wrong one. We live by the ever consuming fear of losing someone and that stops us from being ‘us’. We play safe and cautious. But the best games are won when we play ruthless because what makes us win is the very fear of losing.

So play all your cards on hand, be yourself. Otherwise even though the relation may last, the people involved won’t really know the real ‘You’s, as you were too busy trying to play pretense, to win!

Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.

With Love

A Letter to “Serendipity”!

It’s happening all over again – the falling for each other, the cant-do-anything-about-it situation, and the hung-over-the-past thing. Even the last time you were never completely mine and I don’t think I can deal with you not being mine, this time too. If this, us, is not meant to be, we are better off without each other. It may be the hardest thing to do and it may be difficult for you to believe me, but it is! Walking away from something you almost had, twice, is not that easy, even if I do it with a smile on my face. The pain, the regret and the known that it was something beyond the real and something truly mine, can never be easy on anyone.

People talk about cosmic love. We have joked about cosmic love. But having known us again, after a year between now and then, I may want to believe in the extraordinary. Serendipity- when someone finds something they weren’t expecting to find!!! You are my unexpected.

With you, life seems to stall. Every moment is crystal clear, nothing passes in a haze. I am addicted to you. I can look deep into your eyes and know the truth, know that there is no other place that you’d rather be. I know that when you ask me to never leave again, that I myself, won’t be able to.

I know what I ran away from the last time. Because every time I walked past you, I knew what I had lost. Somewhere I knew that what we had, not many have, and that I have been running around the world to find just that. And I had it. I had you. But I didn’t know then, that it meant that much to you. I didn’t know you felt the same way. You never said anything.

And you tell me that I was never sad at leaving you. Maybe I wasn’t sad, maybe it never showed. But since then, every man has been compared to you in some way. You were the best I ever had. When you look at me and tell me that I look pretty, I know I do.

If I have you this time, I want you all for myself. I am not going to share you with anyone. If that is acceptable to you, I shall be yours. But please don’t ask me to be something that I ran away from, the last time too.

You are my Serendipity!